I swear that I was wiser as a young child than I have been as an adult. When I was a kid, I refused to mark off days on the calendar in anticipation of some big upcoming date. Each day mattered, I thought, and I wasn't going to just cross them out as if they were only marking time.
But today, of course, it's all about tomorrow. When does my vacation start? When will I get back home again? When will school start again? When will I graduate? When will I have a baby? When will my baby start school? When will I make more money than I make now? When will I feel accomplished? When when when?
And if that's my attitude, the only question that really matters is when will I die? Because really...if I'm constantly looking toward the next milestone, then I'm never leaving this state of transition, and that's no way to live. No wonder I don't enjoy life. No wonder I lie around moping all day. No wonder I don't feel productive. Productiveness is for the future. Today, I wait.
It's 1 a.m. and I feel, of course, that tomorrow I will wake up and enjoy tomorrow and do all that I can to make tomorrow a worthwhile day to be alive. But I tend to fall short of my goals, so I will probably just sit around on my bum all day, waiting for the house to clean itself, waiting for the kids to stop nagging, waiting for my stories to write themselves...you get the picture.
Are you noticing a theme with my posts? I am, and it's that I suck!
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