I'm changing my name to George.

Not really. But if I didn't already know that being a woman writer was an uphill battle, this fact was reinforced today when I overheard a guy at Starbucks laugh as he said to his friend, "I don't read women authors." Yeah. I mean, that just sucks. And unfortunately, he's one of many. I always like to pretend I'm not a feminist, but how can I help but be when that kind of sentiment is shared by many and is even considered comical? Women can't write? Or what they write isn't worth reading? Do I really have to go by A.M. instead of Abby to get respect? Or George, like George Eliot, whose real name was Mary Ann? I don't really feel like a George. I should at least pick a name out of left field, like Hans or Francesco or something.

I've thought of using a pen name, but I don't see myself as anything but Abby, so my first name will be staying the same. If people want to be jerks and not read me because I'm a woman, so be it. People suck.

Well, just one "i"...

I'm an idiot. I had to acknowledge that yes, there is an "i" in Oliver. Just not the "i" that I was thinking about.

There's no "I" in Oliver.

Maybe I should have named him Oliver, then, instead of Olivier. Maybe that extra "i" really screwed him up. My kid has issues!!

Being half-Brazilian, my children have soccer in their blood. Olivier has been wanting to play for a long time now, and we finally got him into a rookie league this spring. But he expects the whole world to revolve around him. He's all smiles and rainbows when the kids are practicing, each with his own ball, but then when the game starts and a bunch of kids are fighting over the same ball, he freezes up and stands there sulking in the middle of the field. He says, "They won't let me score a goal!" No shit, Sherlock. (No, I do not say that to him. At least not to his face.)

He's a special little person, to put it nicely. He's a character, but his big emotions can cause problems. Terrible twos? Pshaw! Three was baaaaaaaaaad, and four's not much better.

At least he's cute.

I have to admit that he comes by it honestly. I had a reputation as a little kid as being rather difficult, I guess. They called me the Tyrant. I sometimes overreact...sometimes...

This is me in Paris, pouting because my camera wasn't working. Except it obviously was working, because this picture was taken with my camera.

This is me in Paris, pouting because...well, you've heard that story already. Yup. Same exact situation.

And just for fun, two of the best Paris pictures ever taken:

We went up in the Eiffel Tower, and just as we got to the front of the line to buy our tickets, they closed the uppermost level. Bastards!! This is how I felt. And then...

We bought metro passes, which was marvelous. The Paris Metro is a dream. But it hated me, for some reason. It would never let me through. Only me. Everyone else would breeze through, and I'd get the wind knocked out of me when it wouldn't open for me. I started jumping turnstiles. I hold a grudge.

My son might get his attitude from me.

Straight, not Narrow

I'm coming out.

As a gay rights supporter, that is. Most of the people with whom I associate share my views, I know, but there are those who don't, and I must shamefully admit that I do not speak up sometimes when I should.

Truth be told, I'm extremely gay friendly. I'm not indifferent about this topic in the slightest. So I really should speak my mind. I would love to somehow be involved in activism, but I'm not sure quite where to start.

One evening, a professor of mine started a class discussion by writing a saying he'd seen on a bumper sticker on the board: "I'm straight, but not narrow." He then asked what we thought of it. Some of my classmates didn't care for it, saying that it seemed to be a straight person who supports gay rights but who feels the need to assure everyone that s/he is straight. That makes sense, but I disagreed. I like the saying. I think that if I support a cause from which I have nothing to gain, my support is all the more credible. I feel the same about marijuana legalization. I'm not going to say I've never done it, but I'm not a pothead by any means, and I really don't care if I ever smoke again in my life. But I'm a staunch supporter of legalization. Changing the laws wouldn't benefit me in any way, but I still want them changed -- doesn't that lend me some credibility?

Unfortunately, I don't think that those close to me who don't know my views on this subject will ever read this. But that's all right. I'm still putting it out there. If anyone has suggestions for ways to get involved, please let me know.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, take II.

So in my usual fashion, I said I needed to change my life and then didn't even attempt to follow through. That's how I roll. I'm still watching reality TV (although I will say that I haven't started any new seasons...I'm just finishing out the ones I was already watching before originally saying that I needed to stop), I'm still eating terribly, and I'm still...uh, well, whatever else it was I said I needed to do, I'm sure I'm not doing it.

But I'm going to throw out an excuse...it's the end of the semester and I'm busy laying around and thinking about how much I don't want to do things. That takes a lot of energy. So give me a few weeks and we'll try again.

Oh, and we got a puppy, too, so yeah, that's my other excuse. He's a cool little dog and I'm really happy to have him. He plays with the kids, which our other dog, Beatrice, does not. And he and Beatrice have a lot of fun together, which makes me happy for her, since she doesn't want to play with the kids. His name is Ezra de la Pound. He's super fluffy and cute.

Ezra de la Pound

Cute as he is, he is, of course, work. We got Beatrice in January and she was 4 years old, housebroken, etc. She's a totally chill dog. She's awesome. We adore her. She was so easy to bring into our lives. Ezra keeps us on our toes. We're trying to housebreak him now. He's pretty much crate trained, which luckily didn't take long, and he's doing really well in the house, but we still have to watch him carefully. And he's very energetic, of course, and bites, and steals the kids' toys, and all that other puppy stuff. Soon we'll have a fence, though, and life should be a little easier.

This summer I want to do some work on my house, especially the outside. I want to get a lot of writing done, largely in preparation for my fiction classes that are coming this fall, and also to prepare my grad school portfolio. I want to prepare for and ace the GRE, which I'm really dreading ever since I took a math boot camp last Saturday and was reminded that I'm terrible at math. I want to read a lot (for entertainment purposes, and to read some stuff that I feel ashamed not to have read). I want to start cooking real meals again and trying to get healthy. I did well last summer, but then when school started, it was just too easy to slip back into my old habits. And I want to not just sit on my butt moping around like I so often do.

Here's hoping.

GoodGuide

I was listening to NPR the other night and heard a discussion about the social and environmental costs of making e-readers (Kindle, iPad, etc) versus printing books. I'm totally paraphrasing, but I was delighted to hear that books win over e-readers both socially and environmentally. Because of the costs of producing e-readers, you'd have to purchase 100 books on one to offset that production.

I can see the positive aspects of e-readers for some occasions...but personally, I would never choose to read a novel on an e-reader. Never ever ever. I loooove books. Paperback, specifically. Dog-eared and well-loved -- no problem! They smell delicious. I love folding back the covers and curling up in bed with a good read.

Cozy

There's nothing warm and cozy about an electronic tablet, in my humble opinion. Plus, you can buy an e-book, only to have Amazon suddenly snatch it away from you! Not happening with a real book (barring any Fahrenheit 451-esque occurrences).

Not Cozy

Later in the same NPR broadcast, I heard discussion about an iPad application that allows you to scan the barcode of any item and find out how taxing it is on both the environment and humanity. Now, it's getting easier and easier to find info about green this and green that (to the point of annoyance, if you ask me...it seems so trendy and I'm not sure why people are only now caring about the earth)...but you have to dig a little deeper to find out how the people who make your products are being treated. And that interests me more...but I'll admit, I'm a lazy, ignorant consumer. It's so easy to be.

Well, I don't have an iPhone, but I do have an iTouch, and I just downloaded GoodGuide, the aforementioned app, for free. I think it has its limits...you can't find every product in the world. But there are about 50,000 in its database at this time, so that's something. And it's free, so who's complaining?




And just to try it out, I searched for the Herbal Essences shampoo that I use, which I had a sneaking suspicion was not the most conscious product. It ranked 6.6 overall: 8.0 in health, 5.6 environmental, and 6.3 social. Oops. I can search the general "shampoo" section, though, and find out which rate the highest: Dr. Hauschka's Shampoo with Nasturtium and Lemon, Burt's Bees Rosemary Mint Shampoo Bar (sounds yummy!!), and Miessence Organic Lemon Myrtle Shampoo. The app then breaks down the ratings. For the Burt's Bees product, for example, it says that the company scores well on reducing water use, energy management, and donations to charities.

I have yet to find any products in any category rated at or above 9.0, but I haven't looked much, and nobody's perfect.

You can download the app here.

Baby Legs!

We had to take Julian in for shots today, and it was a bit nippy. He got some knockoff baby legs from his dear aunt for his birthday, and they're perfect for immunization day! We didn't have to take his pants off and were able to keep him warm without irritating his sore little thighs. Parents of babies, buy some!



Here's a close-up of the freshly poked legs:



We also had him in a summery outfit for Easter, but when it cooled off at night, I was really glad to have a pair of these in the diaper bag to throw on him. I recommend them!