I'm changing my name to George.

Not really. But if I didn't already know that being a woman writer was an uphill battle, this fact was reinforced today when I overheard a guy at Starbucks laugh as he said to his friend, "I don't read women authors." Yeah. I mean, that just sucks. And unfortunately, he's one of many. I always like to pretend I'm not a feminist, but how can I help but be when that kind of sentiment is shared by many and is even considered comical? Women can't write? Or what they write isn't worth reading? Do I really have to go by A.M. instead of Abby to get respect? Or George, like George Eliot, whose real name was Mary Ann? I don't really feel like a George. I should at least pick a name out of left field, like Hans or Francesco or something.

I've thought of using a pen name, but I don't see myself as anything but Abby, so my first name will be staying the same. If people want to be jerks and not read me because I'm a woman, so be it. People suck.

Well, just one "i"...

I'm an idiot. I had to acknowledge that yes, there is an "i" in Oliver. Just not the "i" that I was thinking about.

There's no "I" in Oliver.

Maybe I should have named him Oliver, then, instead of Olivier. Maybe that extra "i" really screwed him up. My kid has issues!!

Being half-Brazilian, my children have soccer in their blood. Olivier has been wanting to play for a long time now, and we finally got him into a rookie league this spring. But he expects the whole world to revolve around him. He's all smiles and rainbows when the kids are practicing, each with his own ball, but then when the game starts and a bunch of kids are fighting over the same ball, he freezes up and stands there sulking in the middle of the field. He says, "They won't let me score a goal!" No shit, Sherlock. (No, I do not say that to him. At least not to his face.)

He's a special little person, to put it nicely. He's a character, but his big emotions can cause problems. Terrible twos? Pshaw! Three was baaaaaaaaaad, and four's not much better.

At least he's cute.

I have to admit that he comes by it honestly. I had a reputation as a little kid as being rather difficult, I guess. They called me the Tyrant. I sometimes overreact...sometimes...

This is me in Paris, pouting because my camera wasn't working. Except it obviously was working, because this picture was taken with my camera.

This is me in Paris, pouting because...well, you've heard that story already. Yup. Same exact situation.

And just for fun, two of the best Paris pictures ever taken:

We went up in the Eiffel Tower, and just as we got to the front of the line to buy our tickets, they closed the uppermost level. Bastards!! This is how I felt. And then...

We bought metro passes, which was marvelous. The Paris Metro is a dream. But it hated me, for some reason. It would never let me through. Only me. Everyone else would breeze through, and I'd get the wind knocked out of me when it wouldn't open for me. I started jumping turnstiles. I hold a grudge.

My son might get his attitude from me.

Straight, not Narrow

I'm coming out.

As a gay rights supporter, that is. Most of the people with whom I associate share my views, I know, but there are those who don't, and I must shamefully admit that I do not speak up sometimes when I should.

Truth be told, I'm extremely gay friendly. I'm not indifferent about this topic in the slightest. So I really should speak my mind. I would love to somehow be involved in activism, but I'm not sure quite where to start.

One evening, a professor of mine started a class discussion by writing a saying he'd seen on a bumper sticker on the board: "I'm straight, but not narrow." He then asked what we thought of it. Some of my classmates didn't care for it, saying that it seemed to be a straight person who supports gay rights but who feels the need to assure everyone that s/he is straight. That makes sense, but I disagreed. I like the saying. I think that if I support a cause from which I have nothing to gain, my support is all the more credible. I feel the same about marijuana legalization. I'm not going to say I've never done it, but I'm not a pothead by any means, and I really don't care if I ever smoke again in my life. But I'm a staunch supporter of legalization. Changing the laws wouldn't benefit me in any way, but I still want them changed -- doesn't that lend me some credibility?

Unfortunately, I don't think that those close to me who don't know my views on this subject will ever read this. But that's all right. I'm still putting it out there. If anyone has suggestions for ways to get involved, please let me know.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, take II.

So in my usual fashion, I said I needed to change my life and then didn't even attempt to follow through. That's how I roll. I'm still watching reality TV (although I will say that I haven't started any new seasons...I'm just finishing out the ones I was already watching before originally saying that I needed to stop), I'm still eating terribly, and I'm still...uh, well, whatever else it was I said I needed to do, I'm sure I'm not doing it.

But I'm going to throw out an excuse...it's the end of the semester and I'm busy laying around and thinking about how much I don't want to do things. That takes a lot of energy. So give me a few weeks and we'll try again.

Oh, and we got a puppy, too, so yeah, that's my other excuse. He's a cool little dog and I'm really happy to have him. He plays with the kids, which our other dog, Beatrice, does not. And he and Beatrice have a lot of fun together, which makes me happy for her, since she doesn't want to play with the kids. His name is Ezra de la Pound. He's super fluffy and cute.

Ezra de la Pound

Cute as he is, he is, of course, work. We got Beatrice in January and she was 4 years old, housebroken, etc. She's a totally chill dog. She's awesome. We adore her. She was so easy to bring into our lives. Ezra keeps us on our toes. We're trying to housebreak him now. He's pretty much crate trained, which luckily didn't take long, and he's doing really well in the house, but we still have to watch him carefully. And he's very energetic, of course, and bites, and steals the kids' toys, and all that other puppy stuff. Soon we'll have a fence, though, and life should be a little easier.

This summer I want to do some work on my house, especially the outside. I want to get a lot of writing done, largely in preparation for my fiction classes that are coming this fall, and also to prepare my grad school portfolio. I want to prepare for and ace the GRE, which I'm really dreading ever since I took a math boot camp last Saturday and was reminded that I'm terrible at math. I want to read a lot (for entertainment purposes, and to read some stuff that I feel ashamed not to have read). I want to start cooking real meals again and trying to get healthy. I did well last summer, but then when school started, it was just too easy to slip back into my old habits. And I want to not just sit on my butt moping around like I so often do.

Here's hoping.

GoodGuide

I was listening to NPR the other night and heard a discussion about the social and environmental costs of making e-readers (Kindle, iPad, etc) versus printing books. I'm totally paraphrasing, but I was delighted to hear that books win over e-readers both socially and environmentally. Because of the costs of producing e-readers, you'd have to purchase 100 books on one to offset that production.

I can see the positive aspects of e-readers for some occasions...but personally, I would never choose to read a novel on an e-reader. Never ever ever. I loooove books. Paperback, specifically. Dog-eared and well-loved -- no problem! They smell delicious. I love folding back the covers and curling up in bed with a good read.

Cozy

There's nothing warm and cozy about an electronic tablet, in my humble opinion. Plus, you can buy an e-book, only to have Amazon suddenly snatch it away from you! Not happening with a real book (barring any Fahrenheit 451-esque occurrences).

Not Cozy

Later in the same NPR broadcast, I heard discussion about an iPad application that allows you to scan the barcode of any item and find out how taxing it is on both the environment and humanity. Now, it's getting easier and easier to find info about green this and green that (to the point of annoyance, if you ask me...it seems so trendy and I'm not sure why people are only now caring about the earth)...but you have to dig a little deeper to find out how the people who make your products are being treated. And that interests me more...but I'll admit, I'm a lazy, ignorant consumer. It's so easy to be.

Well, I don't have an iPhone, but I do have an iTouch, and I just downloaded GoodGuide, the aforementioned app, for free. I think it has its limits...you can't find every product in the world. But there are about 50,000 in its database at this time, so that's something. And it's free, so who's complaining?




And just to try it out, I searched for the Herbal Essences shampoo that I use, which I had a sneaking suspicion was not the most conscious product. It ranked 6.6 overall: 8.0 in health, 5.6 environmental, and 6.3 social. Oops. I can search the general "shampoo" section, though, and find out which rate the highest: Dr. Hauschka's Shampoo with Nasturtium and Lemon, Burt's Bees Rosemary Mint Shampoo Bar (sounds yummy!!), and Miessence Organic Lemon Myrtle Shampoo. The app then breaks down the ratings. For the Burt's Bees product, for example, it says that the company scores well on reducing water use, energy management, and donations to charities.

I have yet to find any products in any category rated at or above 9.0, but I haven't looked much, and nobody's perfect.

You can download the app here.

Baby Legs!

We had to take Julian in for shots today, and it was a bit nippy. He got some knockoff baby legs from his dear aunt for his birthday, and they're perfect for immunization day! We didn't have to take his pants off and were able to keep him warm without irritating his sore little thighs. Parents of babies, buy some!



Here's a close-up of the freshly poked legs:



We also had him in a summery outfit for Easter, but when it cooled off at night, I was really glad to have a pair of these in the diaper bag to throw on him. I recommend them!

Thalia's Thalias

When we were shopping for bulbs last fall, we came across a type of daffodil called thalia. How could I not buy those? So here they are, finally blooming! I had to photograph them from a strange angle, so the pictures aren't anything special, but how cool that my daughter planted flowers that share her name. A name that people thought I made up.

Once, when she was a tiny, tiny newborn, I was at the store with her and a woman came up and was adoring my precious little babe. She asked me her name, and when I told her, she said, "What? How do you spell it?" I spelled it for her, and her reply? "Poor little baby with a name like that!"

Clearly this woman had a super awesome name that made her such a super awesome person, with such splendid manners.



Well, news flash, it's a real name, with a cool origin, to boot. Thalia was a figure in Greek mythology. The muse of comedy, or one of the three Graces.

Notice the flowers in her hair?

Here's my Thalia:



We also got some more tulips...

Okay, I know that my gardening and photographic skills are nothing to brag about, but I've never planted anything that actually grew before! Did some seeds once...did not go well.

Mini van, mega fun.

My name is Abby, and I drive a minivan.

There. I've said it.

I drive a minivan because it just makes good sense. I have three children, all of whom ride in some form or another of a bulky carseat. Before number three came along, we had two relatively small sedans. Neither would accommodate three young children. Our van fits them and then some, in relative comfort. So why wouldn't we drive one?

Here's why.

Moments ago, I found myself driving behind another minivan (one much newer and nicer than mine). The license plate was something like this: ART CRT. Art cart, I assumed. I immediately started judging the driver of the van, thinking, "Right, you're an artist, driving a minivan like that." By "art" they surely mean stickers and finger paints, which is obviously for children. Art cart, schmart cart.

After allowing this asinine train of thought to chug through my mind, I shrunk down in my seat with the realization that I'M A TOTAL HYPOCRITE. I drive a minivan! And I call myself an artist!

So then I started to think about how others view me as I tool around in my van, lugging my children hither and thither. I know I'm not the only one who judges people for driving minivans or having oodles of children. Yet I somehow think that I'm different. Cooler, you could say.

Why is it taboo for cool people to have more than two children or drive vans that accommodate their offspring? Why does this immediately make those people uncool? Am I really responsible for the world's overpopulation? If I sacrificed having as many children as I wanted, would I really offset those born in India, China, etc? If I have several children and educate them well, aren't I really providing a service to the world, not over-burdening it?

The moral of my story, I suppose, is that if you're cool, you should have babies, lots of them, and that will make the world a cooler place. And if you have lots of babies, you should get over yourself and drive a damn minivan. And be judged like me.

Turn to Face the Strange

I need to change my life.

Maybe the weather is the inspiration behind this feeling...it's been glorious outside. Warm and sunny, not much rain, and that delicious springtime scent drifting peacefully through the windows. Mmmm. It's inspiring. Plus...



How can you not be happy when this is going on? I planted these!! My wonderful mother-in-law and my children helped me dig the holes and plant tulip bulbs last October. The bulbs were promptly dug up by bastard squirrels. I replanted them, bitterly, and gave my family haircuts so that I could mix the hair clippings with soil to keep the squirrels away. I didn't think I was going to get any flowers, but here they are! I'm still awaiting the blooms of other bulbs...they're on their way.



But I digress.

As I was saying, I need to change my life. I am not the person that I want to be. Who is, right? But I have to keep striving. I have to make conscious decisions if I want to like who I am. So I turn myself to face me...

I want to lose 12 pounds. -Ish. More importantly, I want to be HEALTHY. Because I'm simply not. I drink too much soda and Starbucks. I rarely eat fruits or vegetables. I overindulge in chocolates and fast food. I'm lazy as hell. I have to view my body differently. I must think of it as the precious vessel of my soul. That sounds incredibly cheesy, I realize, but it's true! This is my one and only body, and I am going nowhere without it.

I also need to cut reality TV out of my life. So much easier said than done. Watching these terrible shows and these terrible people makes me feel better about myself. But how can that be? Sitting on my ass watching losers on TV makes me somehow superior to them?

No, I must cut that crap out and focus on being a better mother, a better humanitarian, and a better writer. Right now I usually write to fulfill assignments, which is ridiculous if I plan to pursue this activity as a career.

Someone......needs a nap.

So now's the time when I sign off on this post and go do what I said I'm going to do. I'm going to come back often to share ideas and results, and whatever other nonsense that might be floating through my mind.

I will leave you with a recipe for homemade frappuccinos. Delicious, and so much better for you (and much cheaper) than Starbucks:

Monkey's Iced Mochas:
2 tbsp white sugar
2 tbsp chocolate syrup
1 cup skim milk
3/4 cup espresso, frozen into cubes (you can use regular brewed coffee)
light whipped cream

Dissolve sugar into brewed espresso while still hot (sugar won't dissolve well in cold liquids). Freeze coffee into cubes (just pour into ice cube trays). Once frozen, combine espresso, milk, and syrup in blender until smooth. Top with whipped cream and a drizzle of chocolate.